Three Attitudes That Instantly Age You

by Belinda on February 23, 2014

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Over 20 years ago at the age of 29 I became the Australian National Training Manager for the third largest cosmetic company in the world. Working with hundreds of older women in an industry that focused on skin and beauty, I observed how they coped with the aging process. As a result I made Three Life-Changing Promises to myself….

1. I would never become bitter or resentful of women younger than myself.

2. I wouldn’t get stuck in a psychological ” time-warp” with my hair, makeup or clothes.

3. I wouldn’t live in denial of the changes happening to my face and body as I aged.

At 50, I’ve had plenty of opportunities to break these Three Promises. But I always remind myself of why not…

3 Attitudes That Make You Instantly Older

1. Bitterness and Resentment Towards Younger Women

Time does not discriminate. We’ve all been given exactly the same number of days to live each year of our life so far. If you see a sexy, gorgeous young thing strutting down the street – be happy for her! You had the same amount of time to shake your booty at the age she is right now; don’t resent hers.

2. Trapped In A Fashion Time-Warp

When I first started selling cosmetics I noticed the #1 thing that aged my customers instantly was wearing the same make-up in their 30’s and 40’s as they did in their 20’s.

• Bright or matt lipstick (and/or using lip liner)
• Shiny or colored eye shadow or eyeliner
• Foundation that camouflages the skin
• Concealer
• Powder Blush
• Manicured eyebrows
• Heavy or colored mascara
• Face powder

Ladies, this is not a blog about make-up (if you want one please request in the comments below)…but these makeup mistakes emphasize the signs of aging – rather than complimenting your natural beauty. As you get older, less is more. Let go of the old habits. If you need help, post here on my blog. Whatever you do, do not wear makeup that contains toxic ingredients – not only will you look older, but you will dramatically accelerate the aging process. You can read more about this on my Five Keys To Younger Looking Skin.

3. Living In Denial That You’re Getting Older

By “denial” I don’t mean you aren’t aware of the changes to your face and body – but you’ve chosen to sweep them under the carpet. Trying to hide what you don’t like about your body with clothes or covering up the wrinkles with make-up, Botox or fillers. Or even anesthetizing the uncomfortable emotions associated with aging with alcohol and comfort foods.

This is irresponsible. You owe it to yourself and those you love, to face up to (pun intended) what’s really going on and do something positive and empowering that makes you feel and look younger while enhancing your health and wellbeing. Something that will help you love yourself more and embrace the wonderful process of getting older. The sooner you can do this, the easier your life path will be, ultimately leading to a deep sense of peace and happiness.

It wasn’t all smooth sailing for me navigating my 3 Promises.

I got caught up in my high-powered career in my 30’s. I survived the long working days on sugar, coffee and junk food. I became overweight. I was riddled with cellulite and my skin was a mess. I was so busy trying to be the person I thought I should be that I lost touch with the real, authentic me. I intuitively knew I had to make some big changes in my life but I didn’t know how. Learning to surf turned out to be the first step. It stripped away the façade of makeup, the blow-dried hairstyle, the power-suit and even my precious manicure. After my first surf when I looked in the mirror instead of seeing the mess I was expecting – I was shocked to discover I looked 10 years younger. Then I remembered my 3 Promises and realized I was already halfway down the path with all those women I had worked with in the past, and promised myself I would never become!

If you’re reading this today and thinking “I want to let go of the attitudes that I know are aging me before my time, causing me to look sad, tired, unhappy and old when I look in the mirror” – then I have good news!

There are three powerful ways you can change starting right now.

1. Adjust your attitudes.
2. Shift your emotions.
3. Change your actions.

Imagine, you’re out with your partner…and a sexy, young girl walks by. Your partner, he (or she) can’t help but glance at her. You feel the usual torrent of emotions bubbling up…you feel disempowered, resentful, sad or even a sense of loss or grieving that you’re not her.

What to do?

1. Adjust Your Attitude
Remind yourself that age is relative and right now there is someone 10 years older than you wishing they were in your shoes. Be grateful for where you are now in life, whatever your age.

2. Shift Your Emotions
Let go of those bad feelings; your partner has chosen to be with YOU. Embrace that. Don’t sabotage it by projecting your bad feelings onto them.

3. Change Your Actions
Lift your head high and smile at that sexy, young thing… appreciatively. You will be stunned what a difference it makes to her and to you. She’ll forget those male glances quickly but remember yours for years to come. Giving her this generous gift of one woman appreciating another will liberate you from being a prisoner to resentment (try it out and post the results below on my blog).

As coach to thousands of women around the world, I’ll let you in on a massive secret. It’s a lot easier to change your actions than your emotions or attitudes. And actions if kept consistent for around 21 days will miraculously create new positive attitudes and emotions to fuel more positive changes in your life. This is how true transformation begins.

In other words, even if you don’t feel like it and your thoughts are fighting you – if you stick with just one new daily habit, it will start to change what’s going on inside of you. Imagine being able to let go of those horrible self-defeating negative thoughts and feelings and let them float away, forever. Imagine how liberating that would feel; a new lease of life, newfound energy, a new you.

Today, even if you don’t feel like getting your “sexy on”, losing weight, getting into shape or caring for yourself in a loving way – nurturing your body, face and skin through healthy nutrition, regular exercise and natural anti-aging skincare … just taking one step in the right direction will dramatically impact how you feel about yourself and start you on the path to inner peace and long term happiness.

Why do you think I’ve put so much energy, time and care into creating my Get Lean and Super Sexy Skin Programs? Because they are life-changing.

Your Transformation Coach,

Bel

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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Judith January 20, 2015 at 3:49 am

What a great post Bel! You know, I think a lot of people fear being rejected and it’s easy to think that youth have all the time in the world, all the opportunities, and all the attention. While that may be true in some industries, I think we can defy the notion that your looks, your worth and importance, your voice and your exploration of new things declines when you get older.
I once read a quote that said, someone older is just a young person, later in life :) So really, we can all choose to have the best of youth within ourselves and maybe strive to reflect the wisdom of that to those around us.
Character and humour definitely helps!
On my fitness front – I’m steadily seeing the centimetres click down from all the regular exercise and reasonably healthy eating – yay! I’m not a saint when it comes to sweet things, but I’m more mindful now of how food fuels and fills me :)

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Belinda January 20, 2015 at 8:17 pm

Hello Judith, lovely to hear from you and get your update. Very happy to hear you’re losing those centimeters! Thank you for sharing your wisdom. It’s so liberating not to worry about what people think…like we did when we were a lot younger :) I love the freedom that brings! Thanks for popping by and posting – please keep giving me updates from time to time, I always love hearing from you..
Hugs, Bel xo

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KK December 11, 2014 at 12:44 pm

I read this back when it was initially posted, and I have to say, the information in it really stuck in my mind. I find it has influenced the way I think about things. I started fearing aging recently (as I realized I’m really past my mid 30s), and even though in the past I tried to tell myself I should enjoy this age, as we aren’t in the Victorian Ages any longer, it helps a lot to have someone else say the same thing.

I like to go to a particular tea shop once a week with my husband, and the baristas are college students. I noticed that one of them was attractive and acted differently with men than women. I found her very amusing, which she noticed, and now she is very friendly to me and ignores my husband–won’t even look at him. Which I guess is another positive to not feeling threatened . . . and feeling attractive oneself. Maybe this story is more off the topic than it seemed in my head though . . .

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Belinda December 11, 2014 at 3:15 pm

Hi Karisha, I am very happy to hear the information stuck in your mind and has had a positive influence on your thoughts and feelings.

Your story is exactly on the topic and thank you so much for sharing it.

Young girls like the one you describe are trying to find their way in the world, cope with lots of male (and female attention) and work out what behaviors (and attitudes) feel right for them. At a time where they really need caring role models and positive feedback from women, they often get nasty, jealous looks and attitudes – which doesn’t help. No doubt this girl sensed that you feel good about yourself and not threatened by her youth – and has connected with you….awesome and well done. See how you both feel great now!! And how empowering it is… You’ve discovered a powerful key to dealing with those kinds of situations which will make your life journey so more enjoyable and rewarding…

Thank you for sharing such a lovely personal story, Bel xo

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KK December 11, 2014 at 3:33 pm

I remember being her age, and I shudder at some memories of how I behaved . . . So it’s great when we all (women) can work together and give ourselves less to shudder over later!

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Belinda December 11, 2014 at 3:36 pm

Awesome attitude Karisha!! xo

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Sonia November 24, 2014 at 10:53 pm

Lovely Lovely Bel

This is so well put and such an inspiring and positive thing to read….
What a great lil reminder to everyone, and I agree whole heartedly.

As usual such a positive and inspiring woman indeed.

S xx

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Belinda November 24, 2014 at 11:02 pm

Thank you Sonia!! It was a good to remind myself of these things as I wrote it…. and remember how far I’ve come!

Bel xo

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Cheryl Loffeld November 24, 2014 at 12:14 am

Hi Bel
I agree – our thoughts can be so detrimental to what we want to achieve. I have worked on my own positive thinking for a while now and am making good ground and finally seeing some improvement together with my face and body.
Your programs are wonderful. Thanks for helping me transform me to having a beautiful body.
Kind regards
Cheryl

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Belinda November 24, 2014 at 12:20 am

Hellooo Cheryl, lovely to hear from you. Thank you for your kind and encouraging words, you know how much I care. I’m very proud of everything you have achieved. So awesome so see you flourishing; loving yourself on the outside and inside! Hug, Bel

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Cheryl Loffeld November 24, 2014 at 3:55 pm

Wow, Bel, you still blow me away as to how busy you are and how quick you respond. It’s lovely to know that you haven’t changed your sweet self. I will always appreciate all you have done for me – my transformation was/is amazing. You being so gorgeous helped me to realise I too could work toward that. I lost a total of 12kgs on your program, but I still followed your program when I went (and still am) raw vegan (obviously the nutrition side changed). I lost a total of 17kgs – I am now (and have been for over a year now) 52kgs. Thank you so much – I do love to hear from you.

Much love

Cheryl

xx​

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Belinda November 24, 2014 at 4:31 pm

My pleasure :) When I can I try to keep that personal touch especially for my loyal followers :) XO

That’s incredible re the 12kgs..amazing. What a journey…. I love hearing from you too, it reminds me of why I do all this. It has been miraculous to see how you’ve transformed on the inside – into being happy with who you are..that’s priceless!!

Thank you!!!! XOXO
PS. I expect the best is yet to come for you!

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